• Private Ivy

11 Tips for BDSM Beginners

Updated: Jun 15, 2018

So you have decided you want to try BDSM. If you haven't already I suggest you

read these: What is BDSM and 8 Things to Consider Before Exploring BDSM


Now you've done your research and talked about it it's time to play:


• Take it slow! Try one thing at a time and start gently. You and your partner are in this together, it is important that you respect each others boundaries.


• Don't get too drunk. You may want the liquid courage but it’s not safe, especially for beginners. Plus it’s much more enjoyable with a clear head and you'll be able to remember all the fun you had.


• Wear whatever you feel good in. You don’t have to be head to toe in PVC. Think about what makes you feel powerful and sexy.


• Switch roles. Each try being the Dominant and Submissive. Your preference might surprise you.


• Try some power play outside of the bedroom. Give your partner rules for a day and for each one they break, they get a specific punishment that evening.


• Avoid using cable ties, gaffa tape or other things you found in the garage for bondage. You don't want to actually hurt yourself or leave you skin irritated.


• No bed posts? No problem. You can get various cuffs for tying limbs together or use our 10m bondage rope to restrain your partner to the bed by threading it under the mattress.



• Use your safeword/safesignal if you need to. Pushing yourself too far too soon will ruin the experience and potentially damage your relationship. If one of you wants to stop, you stop.


• Keep arnica cream in the cupboard, it helps with bruising.


• Some things are worth investing in as there is no safe household equivalent, for example collar and leash, nipple clamps, bondage rope and condoms.


• Once the scene is over the submissive may need some time to reconnect with their surroundings again and it’s up to the dominant to provide reassurance and comfort. Make sure you both take the time to 'come back to reality' and talk about what you liked, what worked well and what didn't.


You can check out our complete beginners bondage kit here or book a party with us and let a consultant show you our entire range.